Gone with the Wind

Day 49

Chanute, KS to Pittsburg, KS

Distance: 60 miles

Weather: perfect

Hangover: mild (but still counting as a hit on the Duff Tally)

After a heavy weekend of boozing, you might think that the last thing you’d want to do would be to get up and cycle 60 miles on a sleepy Sunday. But actually, that’s exactly what my heart desired.

Once I’d stepped outside into a bright sunny day, not too hot, not too cold, a light breeze. A light breeze? Really? Could the conditions really be so perfect?

Well, it was a light headwind of course, but, conditions-wise, today was one of the nicest days of cycling so far this trip.

This says it all…

What have you done with Kansas?

Rolling out of town mid-morning, I made a strategic shop at Walmart on the way to pick up… a Bark Genie! Yes, this little gadget was suggested by Hugh and Chloe, who are further ahead of me on the Eastbound route, and are reporting a fair amount of loose dogs in Missouri. Solution, a small battery operated device that emits an ultrasonic noise that only dogs can hear, and that they don’t like very much. Following my attempts at Karaoke last night I can think of some other sounds that might meet that description, but this one is apparently scientifically proven, and consistent in its level of canine offensiveness.

And then it was off into the Kansas countryside, now very much more rolling than flat. But still full of little critters that merit some mention.

Indeed, given the number of dead armadillos I reported the other day, but my failure ever to catch one of them actually alive and moving, I had to make do with a telephone call to armadillo and fashion designer, Michel, to find out more about them.

“Bonjour Michel,” I sang in a happy French voice.

“Oh, I ain’t French sugar,” he replied. “Just the name y’see. I’m Kansas born and bred, used to be called Michael, but with all the attention on the Paris catwalks n' all…”

Michel Sard, CEO of Over Armour, "People are mad for it
ever since Gladiator and Troy"
(photo courtesy of Ms Wikipedia)

“Yes, so tell me what’s it all about?”

“Oh well, us armadillos, we been on the up and up ever since Gladiator, honey, and then Troy. That armour-plated look, it is HOTTT. And now wit my fake armadillo-effect clothes – well we’re calling it “Over Armour”. They love it that hip hop crew. Even that Diddy P guy or whatever he called, he wann it so he can call hisself Puff again. And that Jay Z, well he might be needin a bit of it for practical purposes these day, y’know what I’m sayin’ ”

I did.

But then it isn’t just the armadillos that are catching my eyes at the moment. Today, I have started to see big fat spiders on the road. And to scratch my face and arms off as I feel strands of gossamer thin web catching on my skin as I cycle along. I am hoping against the odds that these two facts aren’t connected, whether literally or otherwise, but I have a nasty feeling that they are.

So, a few more baby noises will be made I am sure in the coming days, as I speed past these creatures that make me cringe and sweat. Watch this space.

Tonight, I am in the small college town of Pittsburg, home to the Pittsburg State University Football team, the Gorillas, which seem to be all over town.

Staying at a great B&B with wonderful hosts Sherri and Jeff, to whom I chatted for a good while this evening as we all relaxed in the rocking chairs on their porch. Resisting their offer of a glass of wine too.

And tomorrow I will be leaving Kansas for the state of Missouri. It’s a seminal moment in some ways. Kansas was the state I felt most anxious about on this trip, fearing the physical effects of the strong winds and the few necessary long days, and wondering whether the scenery would be so bland as to feel like I was sitting on a stationary bike in an exercise class, deprived of any sensory stimuli.

But really, Kansas has been great. After a hard few days at the start where I was in a bit of a hole emotionally, the kindness and friendly nature of the Kansas people has pulled me out of my shell, and been second to none. So, I say thank you Kansas, it’s been a blast!

Me x 

P.S. A photo of a beautiful white thistle from todays ride to finish...